I wish it was me you chose
by Hecken92
Summary: First chapter is a bit song-fic but I swear thats the only one! Set around series two, it follows the story of Jack/Ianto. Song used in chapter one is Elvis aint dead by Scouting for Girls. Rated for explicit language and mebbes some violence...whoknows
1. Chapter 1

Set just before series 2 started and going on into S2

Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood (ohh, I wish...) they are owned by the BBC. I do not own this song, it is "Elvis Ain't Dead" By Scouting For Girls.

_**When I was young,  
I never knew,  
What this thing called "love" could do to you...**_

Ianto sighed. This song kept coming up on his iTunes and it was starting to get painful as he listened to the words and realised just how much they related to his life right now. Since Jack had left him, his life had changed so much. He was so alone, so hurt.  
The Welshman just couldnt understand why his lover had left without a goodbye or even a note. Ianto hadn't been able to tell Jack that he loved him.

**_But since you've been gone,  
And I've been on my own,  
I've been feeling quite peculiar..._**

That empty, sickening feeling hit Iantos stomach again and he felt sick. He'd never known himself to be this affected by one person. Not even, dare he say it, Lisa. He ran to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet. But he wasn't sick, how could he be sick when his stomach was empty. He hadn't been eaten in days. He'd just forgotten. Burying himself in his work, he lost track of time.

**_But I'll get by,  
Without your smile.  
I'll get through,  
Without... You._**

He dreamt of Jack at night. His cheeky grin, his twinkling green eyes, and he knew he would never be over him. He felt betrayed. His sleep was tormented by images of Jack. Jack dead, Jack dying, Jack being tortured. Jack with someone else.

**_But I wish it was me,  
You chose.  
I wish it was me,  
You chose.  
Cos Elvis ain't dead!  
And you're coming back!_**

Ianto laughed a bitter laugh to himself. He wished it were true. But somewhere inside, he had lost all hope. He knew Jack wasn't coming back. He slammed his laptop shut and threw himself backwards on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He sighed angrily and a single tear rolled down his cheek.  
He had done the crying early on, when the pain was fresh. Now, it was more like an old wound that wouldn't heal, a dull ache in his chest that made it hard to breathe, hard to eat, hard to live.

Ianto jumped as he felt a soft hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes, reaching for his gun and nearly fainted at what he saw before him.  
Captain Jack Harkness.  
Ianto leapt off the bed and punched Jack. His anger of the past few months came flooding out and he pushed the older man onto the ground. He towered over him.  
"**HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! YOU FUCKING PRICK!**" Ianto screamed at Jack, tears in his blue eyes. Jack just sat on the floor, taking the words as Ianto screamed at him. He knew he had caused the young man so much pain and he knew he deserved everything he got.  
"**YOU WALK IN HERE! WHAT? YOU THINK I'LL TAKE YOU BACK? THINK AGAIN!**" Ianto collapsed in a heap on the bed, angry tears rolling down his cheeks. Jack got up.  
He sat down beside Ianto and took his face in his hands. He wiped away the tears with his thumb and made Ianto look at him.  
"I am so sorry Ianto. I didn't mean to hurt you like I did. I never meant to leave you for this long but... well... circumstances weren't in my control really"  
Jacks voice shook as he spoke and Ianto could tell something had happened while he was away, "One day, I'll tell you what happened but right now I just want to say, I know I hurt you, and I deserve everything I get, but I truely am sorry."  
He leaned forwards and kissed Ianto softly on the lips.

Ianto awoke suddenly. The dream had seemed so real. Jacks lips, so soft... his voice, so near. Ianto shivered. Was this a sign? Was he coming back?

TBC! Reviews please?


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto walked into the hub, the shadows under his eyes more pronounced than ever. Gwen looked at him worriedly. She got up from her desk and walked over to her friend. She gently touched his shoulder.  
"Are you okay, Ianto?" She sounded worried. He was normally first into work, even since Jack had left, but today, he was last.

"I- I'm fine, honestly Gwen." His voice faltered and Gwen could tell something had happened. He had become more withdrawn since Jack had left but today, today he seemed on edge, nervous.

"You're not. Come on Yan, tell me whats wrong." He looked up and into Gwens trusting brown eyes.

"I - I dreamt of him again last night." Ianto paused and Gwen nodded, he had told her about his nightmares, "But this time, it felt so real. I really heard him, really felt him. He was there! I'm sure"

"Ianto, it's only a dream, you don't have to worry, you're not in danger"

"No, it wasn't like my other dreams. He was in my room. And he apologised, said he'd explain where he'd been one day. It felt so real! I swear, I felt his jaw click when I punched him"

"You punched him?"

Ianto glanced at Gwen, "You saying you're not angry at him too?"

The brunette looked away. Of course she was angry, Jack had left them high and dry with no warnings, no planning, no idea. She sighed.  
"I guess... a bit... But this dream, you don't think it means anything do you?"

Ianto sighed and ran his hand through his already messy hair, "I dont know what to think anymore."

Suddenly, a rift alarm began to go off in the hub.

"Uhh, guys," Tosh called from her desk, "We've gotta go, theres reports of an armed blowfish in a sports car! Not a good thing to be loose in the centre of Cardiff!"

"Never a dull day, eh?" Owen sighed as he swiped up the SUV keys and headed out the hub with the rest of the team.

TBC.  
The next one will be set AFTER the blowfish episode, therefore, AFTER the return of Jack (woo)  
Reviews please?


	3. Chapter 3

Ianto sighed as he threw his keys into the dish on the sideboard and slammed the door shut behind himself. Jacks words echoed in his head, _"I came back for you..."_ For Ianto? No, what a stupid thought. Of course it wasn't for him. Although, after the conversation they'd had in the office, Ianto wasn't sure about anything now.

_"Are you asking me out on a date?" Ianto asked.  
"Interested?" Jack had replied, raising his eyebrow.  
"As... as long as it's not in an office, some fetishes should be kept to yourself!"_

Ianto laughed softly to himself as he thought back on it. What a lame comeback...  
Of course he had been angry with Jack, but he hadn't shown it. Jack had seemed to appreciate that. It had infuriated him even more that Jack seemed to think he could walk back in and take over again.  
Ianto sighed. He couldn't deny it though. The thought of a proper date with Jack did excite him.  
Ianto rubbed his eyes and wandered into his room. After the nights events he was exhausted. Having to avoid his past self seemed easy enough when all Ianto wanted to do was sleep... He began to change into his comfy T-shirt and pyjama bottoms when his phone rang. He glanced at the screen;  
**"Calling - Jack. Answer? Reject?"**  
Ianto hit the reject button and sighed. He just didnt have the energy right now.  
He climbed into bed and wrapped his duvet around him, trying to block out his thoughts. Ianto sighed and closed his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep...

Just a random new chapter! Very short, I know. Sorry!  
R&R?


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Ianto awoke feeling refreshed and much more able to face Jack. He rolled over to face the clock and sighed, 6am, time to get ready for work... He got out of bed and snatched up his towel, heading for the shower.

* * *

As the cog door rolled back and Ianto walked slowly into the Hub, he spotted Jack slyly watching him. Ianto rolled his eyes and began to walk up the stairs to Jacks office. He popped his head around the door and Jack grinned at him.  
"Morning!" Jack sounded happy to be back.  
"Morning. Can I get you anything? A coffee?"  
Jack nodded enthusiatically, "That would be fantastic!"  
Ianto smiled slightly and walked back down to the main part of the Hub. He turned the coffee machine on and leaned against the counter, eyes closed, thinking.  
"Penny for your thoughts..."  
Iantos eyes snapped open and he glanced at Jack who was leaning against the wall, cool and calm as always. Ianto sighed and turned back to the coffee machine, flicking buttons and turning dials. He felt Jack move closer behind him, felt the heat of him standing close to him. Ianto spun round and found himself almost nose to nose with Jack. Jack smiled and raised an eyebrow.  
"Well, this brings back some memories!"  
He moved closer to Ianto, placing his arms either side of Ianto on the counter. He looked confused as Ianto ducked under Jacks arms and walked out of the kitchen.  
"Ianto?"  
The Welshman didn't even turn as he heard his name, "No, Jack."  
Jack frowned slightly, "Yan, what is it?"  
Ianto laughed softly, "It doesn't work like that. You can't just walk back in and continue as if normal. You can't just walk all over me."  
"Well... what can I do to make it up to you?"  
Ianto turned round sharply, "Just tell me... tell me where you were, what happened! It must've been something good, right?"  
Jack closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, "Okay..."

* * *

When Tosh arrived, there was no sign of life in the Hub except for the light coming from Jacks office. She softly walked up the stairs and stood outside the door. She could hear Jacks voice, hesitant and soft. She smiled to herself and walked back down the stairs, turning her computer on, ready to start another day of Torchwood...

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**Ok, so the ending sucked a bit... sorry! Couldn't think of anything to write! Any ideas for the next chapter are welcome, my brain is dead atm!**

**Reviews?  
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	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, first of all, a big thanks to all of you who've reviewed this for me!**

**A special thanks to CandyBree who has reviewed every chapter and, just for you, I bring you what you've been asking for for so long...**

**So, CandyBree (and others) sit back and enjoy!**

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7.30. On the dot, he'd said.

Ianto checked his watch, 6.47, plenty of time.

He closed the door behind himself and wandered through his flat to his bedroom. He sat down on the bed and ran a hand through his hair...

Dinner. The theatre. A proper date. Jack Harkness on a _proper_ date with Ianto Jones? It still hadn't quite sunk in yet.

Ianto smiled to himself and got up, walking over to his wardrobe. Suit? Or casual? Or a casual suit?

He'd never felt this kind of pressure to impress someone before. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them, Ianto had finally made his decision.

* * *

Ianto was pacing up and down his kitchen by 7.30 when his door bell finally rang. He stared at the door for a moment before finally walking over and opening it. He smiled at Jack, standing on his doorstep.

"Hey. You ready to go?" Jack smiled as he spoke, looking Ianto up and down.

Ianto nodded, "Yep, lets go."

He closed the door behind him and walked down the path towards the SUV.

"Love the waistcoat and jeans thing, Yan." Jack said, walking alongside him, flashing the Welshman a cheeky grin.

Ianto pretended not to be pleased, "Oh, thanks."

He blushed a little as Jack slipped his hand into Iantos and squeezed it gently. Ianto pulled away and got into the big black car.

"So, where are we going?"  
Jack grinned and winked at Ianto, "Ah, now that would be telling..."

* * *

The meal had been perfect. Just as Ianto had always imagined. Jack had seemed a little uncomfortable at first, as did Ianto, but soon enough they were chatting and laughing together, just like the old days. And the bottle of wine (or two) had certainly helped.

As they left the restaurant, heading for the theatre, Ianto smile lazily as, yet again, he felt Jacks warm, strong hand in his.

"Be warned, Jones, I have no idea what this show is going to be like..." Jack grinned mischievously.

"Oh?" Ianto raised an eyebrow, "You always have to be full of surprises, huh?"

Jack grinned and leaned close to Ianto, "And you love it." He purred.

As they walked through the large, double doors of the Theatre Royal, Jack took a deep breath in.

"God, I love this place!"

He turned to Ianto, smiling. The younger man laughed slightly and took Jack by the hand.

"Come on you, lets get to our seats..."

* * *

As the audience leapt to their feet at the end of the show, Ianto joined them, clapping hard, his eyes shining. He turned to his left to speak to Jack and realised the older man hadn't joined the rest of the theatre on their feet. Ianto quickly sat down beside him.

"Jack..?" Ianto placed a tentative hand on Jacks arm as he noticed the tears slowly rolling down Jacks cheeks, "Are you okay?"

Jack was silent for a moment, staring into the distance. He turned to look at Ianto, his blue eyes wide and sad.

"He... shot him... his own brother... I... Gray..."

Iantos eyes widened ever so slightly as realisation dawned on him.

"Oh, Jack..." He pulled Jack into a hug, ignoring the annoyed and odd looks they were getting from the other audience members that were trying to leave. Jack clutched Ianto tightly and sobbed into his shoulder as his young lover rubbed soothing circles on his back.

Jack pulled away slowly, sniffing slightly, "I'm sorry, I'm just being stupid." He stared down at the Blood Brothers programme clutched tightly in his hand. Ianto smiled slightly and took Jacks hand.

"No, you're not. Now come on, you're coming back to my flat."

He pulled Jack to his feet, kissing him softly on the lips. Ianto wrapped an arm around the older mans waist as they left the theatre, slowly walking back towards Iantos flat...

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** Awww, first date! Hope everyone enjoyed it! Reviews please? New chapter coming soon!**


	6. Chapter 5 Part 2

**AN: Ooh, down to the nitty gritty in this chapter... If you don't like references to sex (especially gay sex) then I suggest you leave now! (Although, why you were on my page? I shall never know...) But do not fear (just be a little disappointed) it isn't smutty, just **_**references!**_

**The rest of you, (especially you, AttentionDefecit!!) enjoy!**

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As they slowly made their way back to Iantos flat, Jack sniffing every so often, Ianto couldn't help but to smile to himself. Of course he didn't like seeing his Captain upset but, he had to admit it, it felt nice to know that Jack really did have a soft side.

Iantos key grated roughly in the lock as he opened the door. He dragged it out and gently led Jack in. He turned to re-lock the door and, when he turned back to Jack, found himself nose to nose with him, for the second time that day.

"Nice flat," Jack said, softly, his eyes on Iantos lips, "Very... Ianto."

Ianto grinned, "I'll take that as a compliment..."

The Welshman leaned forwards slightly and kissed Jacks lips softly. He pulled back, smiling.

"Now you've earned it, Harkness..."

He smiled and took Jacks hand gently, leading him through the darkened flat and into his room.

* * *

As Jack lay sleeping, Iantos arm over his waist, the younger man lay wide awake, watching Jack sleep and thinking. Sex before Jack had left had always been rough, quick, almost a dominance thing. But this time it had been gentle and caring, as if, dare he even think it, Jack actually had feelings for him. More than just lust. Ianto sighed as he pulled himself closer to Jack, inhaling deeply and snuggling in, the familiar scent of Jack soothing him like a child.

Ianto closed his eyes and allowed sleep to engulf him. He smiled slightly as he slowly dozed off, safe in the knowledge that his Captain was back and safe, if a little vulnerable.

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**AN: There ya go... good enough? Random, I know... Oh well :D Another chapter later... feel privileged! You've had 1 and a half chapters in one day!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: So, it took a while, but finally, I've written a new chapter! Woo! Brownies all round! :D**

**000**

When Ianto woke the next morning, he was, dare he say it, a little disappointed to realise Jack was not beside him. Before he'd left, he never stayed until Ianto woke, so why would it be any different now? Ianto sighed and rolled onto his back, throwing a hand over his face to block out the bright, early morning sun.

He paused.

Could he smell bacon? Why could he smell bacon... He was the only one in the flat...

"Morning!"

Ianto nearly fell out of bed as the bouncy American accent jolted him from his thoughts. He opened his eyes quickly and looked towards his door. Leaning in the doorway was Jack. With bacon rolls. And, Ianto noticed, nothing but an apron on. Funny how he noticed the bacon rolls first...

"Woah! Didn't mean to make you jump, I just thought you might want something to eat before work." Jack smiled proudly, holding the plate out as if it was the Holy Grail.

Ianto laughed and reached out for it, "Thanks," He said, taking the plate gratefully and sniffing appreciatively, "I didn't know you could get up this early... Its only 6am, Jack!"

The Welshman grinned widely and took a bite from his sandwich, rolling his eyes in bliss.

"Well, I don't need much sleep, you know that." Jack laughed at Iantos expression, "Good?"

"Fantastic! Anyway, if you don't sleep much, how come you're always last to start work! You live there for gods sake!"

Jack laughed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Ianto noticed the apron had no back. Nice.

"Because I'm not normally a morning person. But this morning, I couldn't resist!"

Ianto nodded, mouth full. He swallowed and stood up, glancing down at Jack.

"Well, you really should get dressed. I don't know what people will think to your outfit at the moment, although, I'm not complaining..."  
Jack laughed and rolled his eyes, standing up, "Alright, alright! But I'm using the bathroom first!"

He walked out of Iantos room and towards the bathroom across the hall. He paused and spoke without turning around, "Ianto?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Stop looking at my ass."

Ianto blushed as the American laughed loudly, closing the bathroom door behind himself.

**000**

**AN: Hope you enjoyed that... See that button down there? Its a good button... if you click it, you get Brownies and M&M's...**

**Anyways, hopefully the next chapter wont take me as long to write... and hopefully it'll be longer! Really, I apologise for the short-ness... I have something that isn't important enough to call itself Writers Block!**


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